Freaky Specific

“You see it, don’t you?”  You see it every day, if you have a smart phone.  Most of us have smart phones, for better or worse.  Really, the smart phones have us…. and our kids.

We see too much of the world in real time: Something perfectly awful happens, or something that’s just mildly irritating.  Immediately the commentariats go to work, and the kingdom of the whatabouts comes to life.

We’re in deep.  How deep?  Ever found yourself asking yourself this question: “What was that important thing that happened three days ago?  I can’t quite remember, but I know whose account – or page – to go to, to remind me what it was and what I should think about it.”

When we go, we hear the question: “Which side will you take?”  You better decide, and fast.  Decide on the basis of who you are.  Or, if you’re not sure, decide on the basis of who you’d like to be with, or be seen with.  Decide “this day whom you will serve”.  And “like” what was said.  Better yet: Comment on what was said.  If you don’t, how will anyone know where you stand?  How will anyone know who you really are?

“Well, who are you?”  Darn it.  That’s another question you can’t quite get to the bottom of, because we might just be a ‘performance’, all the way down.  Or, maybe you’re convinced you have gotten to bottom of it, and have discovered richness, beauty, brokenness, and all that Myers-Briggsness.  You carry a history that’s full of power or powerlessness, privilege or pain.  You know your story, inside and out.  You’ve read its signs and cursed the darkness that remains.

But by now, maybe you’re a little tired of knowing yourself so well: Has your knowledge of yourself has become so specific, you’re beginning to feel a little ‘freaky’?  ‘Freaky’ like: “Am I thinking about myself too much?”

Who is asking you all these questions?  Is it – at the end of the day – you, or me? Or all the people and events that make up your life?  Or is it Someone else?  I don’t know.  But Someone might be “in there”, and that Someone may be trying to move you to a place you don’t want to go.  I get it.  I’m not sure I really want to go that place, either.

How can you tell if it really is that Someone?  These are the kind of questions he asks, in order to get us to that uncomfortable place:

“Who do you say that I am?” (Mark 8:29)

“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?” (Luke 6:46)

“Do you want to go away, as well?” (John 6:67)

“Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?” (John 18:11)

“Do you love me?” (John 21:17)

Answer these questions in as specific a way as possible, day by day, in your thoughts, words, and deeds, and you will start to look “freaky” to the people you know and love.

But if you’re like me, you’re kind of ready for that: You are beginning to hope that, despite overwhelming efforts to drive us apart on the basis of who we are, there are followers of Jesus who want to move from decent and in order, to freaky and specific.  Decent and in order is good as far as it goes, but it may have gone as far as it can.

This is the hope that grounds me when principalities and powers do their utmost to drive us apart: There are disciples who know that whatever comes next for God’s people, it must look so different that Jesus will say: “That’s it!”, and fellowship with us.  If that happens, then we may truly fellowship with one another, and God can do great things through us.

We’ve tried the old questions, and we’ve been working from old answers that are part of the world that is passing away.  I want new questions: The ones that, if I answer them with other disciples, mean I can be part of the new world – the only one that really matters.  There’s only one place – one Person – I go to for those questions.

Originally a contribution to a NEXT Church blog series on leadership.